Understanding why you sometimes can't get the results you want
There’s such a lot in the media right now about weight loss, obesity and related health problems and masses of information (often conflicting) on how to keep your body in good shape. But what about your mind? ...
If your mind is in good shape you’ll find it much easier to look after every aspect of your life. It could, in fact, be said that if our lives are out of sync and we are finding some aspect of our life a struggle, then it is our mind that needs sorting out before the problem can be resolved.
I’m not talking about your brain (that’s the hardware!); I’m talking about your conscious thinking and, more importantly, those unconscious reactions and behaviors that you know don’t work for you. You may keep trying them out over and over and over again, but if they haven’t produced the right result for you yet, they never will. They need changing.
So how can you change your habits? Sometimes discipline, hard work, learning new skills, concentration and dedication can do the trick. Sometimes not.
Lets say you want a specific result – a better body; a better relationship; a promotion; better interview techniques; being able to speak up easily in a meeting; staying motivated; overcoming a fear, anxiety or phobia … the list is endless but the solution is not! In fact, it can be quite speedy and much easier than you thought.
The art is to tackle the problem where the core of the problem is, and that’s not in the conscious mind at all – it’s in the subconscious.
If we keep trying and failing, then we know that we have a conflict between the two parts of the mind. This is not at all uncommon. It occurs because the subconscious is trying to look after us and protect us in some way.
If you can’t get on a plane and fly to a foreign land (aerophobia) because you are petrified then it’s your subconscious trying to protect you from danger. If you can’t go into an interview without your knees knocking then your subconscious has the idea that an interview a scary place to be. Perhaps you’re carrying too much weight and you can’t stay motivated to lose it. It could be your subconscious is wanting you to hang on to the weight for a reason – protection maybe?
You might not know the reason you have a particular problem. It is often the case that my clients come to me with issues that don’t seem to have a definite starting point or cause.
If they know the starting point was a trauma of some sort (relationship split; fell to pieces at an interview; had a car accident – whatever) then it is often easier for them to approach a doctor and be referred to a clinical hypnotherapist or coach or psychotherapist because they can explain their case and feel ‘justified’.
But what if you don’t have any obvious reason for your problem? It can be hard to go to the doctor and say “I get panicky when someone asks me a question and I don’t know why.” You’d feel an idiot, right? You might go to the doc and tell him you panic on a plane because you know he’ll give you tranquillizers but isn’t it easier just to sort out the core of the problem forever and without drugs? That subconscious mind of yours is the root of the fear and people rarely overcome the panic with just conscious thought.
When a client phones or visits me with an issue that seems ridiculous to them, it never seems so to me. Our subconscious will do it’s best to protect us from danger as rigorously as it can and sometimes it gets mixed messages about what’s really dangerous and what’s not. These fears are usually very simple to put right and can often take just a few sessions.
I saw one client who, for 11 years, had constantly wanted to ‘wee’ every 5 minutes if she went out anywhere. That had stopped her going out, of course. She could not believe this really simple problem could be sorted out in just 3 sessions and she was free to go anywhere she wanted after years of virtual imprisonment. There was a specific ‘root cause’ for this which made it really speedy to clear.
A young man came to me with severe neuralgia for which the medical profession could find no physical cause. He had suffered for 4 years and was thoroughly fed up and tired of the constant pain. There was no obvious starting point for this but within just a few sessions his pain was reduced by 80% and he went away with techniques he could use to ensure this improvement continued.
A young lady had a very severe tic which had started some years before in just one eye but had spread and affected her face, neck and shoulder. She improved dramatically and continued to use the methods I suggested until she had total control over what had been an involuntary reaction.
Our subconscious is a fascinating place where there is no logic; just patterns. It will keep following a pattern of behavior until you have the courage and determination to get it sorted!
“What your mind creates becomes your destiny”
What would you like to get sorted? Is there just one thing that really bugs you? Give me a call or e-mail if I can be of help.
Best wishes
Bee
0845 644 3974
bee@thelifedesignstudio.com
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Bee is a senior clinical hypnotherapist, senior life coach, solution focused psychotherapist, NLP master and trainer and spiritual healer.
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