A phobia is a fear that is out of control. The difference between a fear and a phobia is just the intensity of fear.
If you are frightened of something you may find ways to get around that. Once it turns into a phobia, your heart starts racing, your palms become sweaty, your mouth goes dry, your mind becomes a mess and you cannot find ways to lessen your anxiety until you are out of the situation again.
It is your mind’s way of telling you that this situation is dangerous even when it isn’t.…
You catch a glimpse of that balloon / aeroplane / spider / bird / vomit … whatever you are frightened of, and the subconscious mind says “that’s really scary – I had better throw you a hefty shot of fear chemicals (such as adrenaline) to help you cope”.
We all need fear. It’s there to tell us not to do daft things like putting our hand in a fire, but the subconscious sometimes gets cross-wired about what’s dangerous and what’s not.
There are many circumstances and objects that someone may become ‘phobic’ about and there are ‘simple’ phobias and ‘complex’ phobias. Today I’ll talk about simple phobias – they are phobias with a straightforward cause.
What causes a phobia?
I’ll give you some of the most common reasons.
Our neurology begins wiring up our patterns in the womb and for a few years afterwards. If all our inputs about what’s dangerous and what’s not are sensible and practical, we will likely avoid what’s dangerous and be able to take reasonable calculated risks when we want to.
However, our neurological wiring changes every time we learn something new and there may have come a time when that learning was to be afraid of something; eg Mum is afraid of spiders, so can unwittingly ‘teach’ a more sensitive child to be afraid too.
Maybe the phobia starts a little later. You’re absolutely fine about other kids being sick around you until, one day at a party, you become sick yourself or you are very distressed at the same time that someone else is vomiting and – hey presto! You develop ‘emetophobia’.
This can happen at any time of life. It usually happens because you are directly involved in a fearful situation; eg a car accident can cause fear of driving or of roads, or because you happen to be emotionally upset at the same time as something else happens eg you have a blazing row with your partner, you happen to see a car crash on the TV and wonder why you have now become afraid to drive.
The subconscious is just trying to protect you from having the same unpleasant experience again and gets its neurological wiring crossed.
What can be done about it?
Ah! Un-crossing the wires. Well, if you can get a phobia so easily, then it should be apparent that you could be rid of it pretty easily too if only you know how to un-cross the wires. This is where clinical hypnotherapy and NLP (Neuro linguistic programming) comes into its own. You don’t have to go for “flooding” treatment – that’s where you are consistently put in the frightening situation until the fear recedes. That’s the hard way.
There are several easier techniques that I use, depending on the personality, how the phobia started and the result the client wants. Not everyone wants to be completely rid of the fear.
A client of mine was travelling to Africa to work and had an intense fear of even the smallest house-spider (arachnaphobia). Her employer had given her a book containing all the information she needed to know and there were pictures of which spiders were poisonous and which were not!!! She freaked.
However, after just three relaxing hypnotherapy / NLP sessions where I took her through some easy specially designed visualisation processes, she knew that she could recognise the spiders; that she could put a glass over the ones that were not poisonous and get out of the way or get help when she saw one that was. She didn’t want to touch them herself – she just wanted to react differently. She was so calm and relaxed her husband thought she had taken tranquillisers!
Another technique I use that’s appropriate to some clients is EFT. This is a ‘tapping’ technique. We have energy trails rather like road maps throughout our body. Tapping our fingers in a certain way on certain pressure points whilst thinking about the fear can unblock a “traffic jam” on these trails – such as a phobia. This can cause an amazing and rapid reduction of symptoms. My partner, Tony, lost his fear of bats by learning this technique.
How long does that take?
A simple phobia can take just one session to clear but it is safer to use three because the first session is about getting to understand the phobia intimately and ensuring the treatment is exactly right for the client. The second we help dispel the phobia. The third we check progress and ensure the client will be safe for the future too.
Of course, in some cases, however simple the phobia appeared, it isn’t shifting after three sessions and that means it’s more complex than we knew. Neither the client nor I can know what the subconscious has up its’ sleeve! But complex phobias are another story …
Why can’t I deal with it myself?
It really is not a case for “pull yourself together”. This is something that is rooted in the subconscious mind and needs to be dealt with at that level, however much your conscious mind knows it’s daft and wants to be without it. Get some help. Drop me an e-mail if you would like to ask any questions or post a question or comment on this site by clicking “comments” below.
I hope this has helped you understand phobias a little better.
With very best wishes
Bee
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