Have you heard this expression before : “the chatter of the mind”?
What it refers to is the constant thought processes that we are running every day of our lives.
Because we cannot get into another’s mind, we have no idea if our chattering mind is normal or healthy. It’s just the way we are; it’s what we are used to and, anyway, why would we want to quieten it?
We have many thousands of thoughts each day and much of the time we are not even aware of the thoughts we are thinking. Can you remember 60 thousand thoughts from yesterday or the several thousand you had in the last couple of hours? ...
It is said more than 98% of our thoughts are recycled from previous thoughts. Less than 2% is original. That doesn’t mean we think precisely the same ‘words’ or create exactly the same ‘pictures’ (although that is often true) but it does mean that we run incessant patterns of thought that we never stop to question. They have become habit.
The way we think about the people we know; the way we think about our environment; our job; our daily tasks and habits; the beliefs that will remain unshakeable for a lifetime unless we challenge them.
And each thought we have affects our next thought. Each thought affects our physiology and therefore our health both mental and physical.
Here is an example from someone trying to lose weight:
You are walking up a supermarket isle and looking at the food on offer. To even get here you had to be thinking about going shopping, putting on the right clothes and shoes, delaying other chores till later, organising the trip into your day… money, car keys, locking up the house and much more. To get to this isle you took a decision about which route to take, where to start, which trolley or basket you needed.
You suddenly have an overwhelming desire for something sweet. You pick up a small chocolate bar. You think “It’s silly to pay that price for a small bar when a large one costs proportionately so much less” so you pick up the giant size bar – you have saved yourself money!
During the above process you will have had all sorts of other thoughts too, many of them hidden. Maybe thoughts were tumbling over themselves to tell you “You know you don’t need that”. You may have a picture in your mind about where and when you are going to eat it – maybe in secret. You might be aware of a nagging guilt or working out when the next weightwatchers meeting is and whether you could reach your target if you just starve till then … it could be hundreds of lightening speed thoughts that are running in the background with the dominant thought being “I want chocolate, I need chocolate, I must have chocolate”
It may feel like a compulsion, as if it is completely out of your control. As if you didn’t think at all.
The above example is about slimming but it might be thoughts of jealousy or envy; thoughts of anger or anxiety; thoughts of doom and gloom; thoughts about something that happened in the past that upset you or something you are worried might happen in the future, thoughts like “I’m no good at … (fill in the blank)”, “I can’t help myself”, “Just this one won’t hurt”, “I never seem to be able to …”
The fact is that these negative thoughts can run amok and harm you if you don’t actually notice them. They harm you by increasing your anxiety levels; causing you to stay stuck in a loop that isn’t serving you; preventing you from being happier and more relaxed; causing tension and sometimes frustration, resentment or anger.
So here is Part 1 of your plan to help yourself begin to catch your thoughts and change them to something more constructive and healthier. This could be your chance to rid yourself of some of those underlying anxieties that no-one but you is aware of but …
1. You have to want to. You have to be committed to changing yourself or you’ll never do it. This has to be something you want to do for yourself rather than something someone else says you should do. Something you are keen to get a result on. It’s OK if you don’t believe you can change … yet. Just commit.
2. Commit to catching those thoughts that you know are not helping you to be happy. To do this you commit to noticing every day whenever you feel any anxiety, unhappiness, emptiness … whatever the uncomfortable feeling is for you. When you feel discomfort, immediately check out what was running through your mind. It may be a thought you didn’t even notice at the time or one you are all too familiar with. When you persevere with this, your subconscious mind begins to help you and alerts you to the thoughts you seek.
3. Write it down. You’ll find many thoughts reappear over and over, so just put a tick alongside the first written thought every time you notice it being repeated. (Remember this is not about all your thoughts, only the ones you want to work on).
4. If you find you have thoughts in several different categories such as frustration with your Mother (brother, boss … fill in the blank); disappointment at not getting that job; annoyance with yourself for something you have or haven’t done; overeating; fear of failure; lack of confidence; anger at someone or something … then just pick one subject to work on for now.
Summary : From this day forth, write down your persistent negative thoughts on that one subject and then you’ll be ready to follow the rest of the instructions I will give you next week. You can start in with a new subject when you have mastered the first one.
Important : Give yourself a big pat on the back for taking the trouble to become a better person. Give yourself some praise for your work so far.
In part two I will take you much further with this exercise so that you can begin to change the way you think and therefore the way you behave and the way you feel … forever … for the better.
You can start the above exercise now because it is an eye-opener. You don’t have to wait for part 2 because this might take some practice before you persistently remember to do it.
You won’t follow these instructions unless you’re feeling courageous. Only the bravest people on the planet are willing to look at themselves squarely and face up to the reality. Only the fearless will admit they have a problem and commit to improving.
If you need a helping hand, please feel free to chat to me by e-mail on bee@thelifedesignstudio.co.uk.
I'll be back with more information soon.
Best wishes
Bee
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