We run our life on patterns, habits if you like, and mostly that's a very good thing. It is a process which has kept us in existence as a species for thousands of years. But why is it so difficult to change our lives when we want to?
Our conscious brain, the part of our brain which works things out with logic and reason, is very good at mixing and matching the signals we pick up through our senses and in sometimes coming to a conclusion that change would be beneficial. This process is clever but comparatively slow and 'expensive' to run in energy terms.
You will know that a sustained period of mental effort soon makes you 'tired'. If we had to work out everything consciously on a daily or moment by moment basis we would grind to a stop very quickly indeed. That is the reason that, as soon as soon we are able, we commit behaviour and thought patterns to our subconscious so that we don't have to engage in this slow, inefficient, energy consuming process - thinking.
You can clearly see this at work when you learn something complex like how to drive a car. To begin with it is very difficult indeed but as we become used to it by repetition gradually we need to 'think' less. Eventually we can drive a car 'on automatic pilot', hardly giving it a thought at all. It becomes easy.
Throughout our lives, from conception onwards, we 'learn' in this way, developing patterns not only for driving but for every aspect of our lives, large and small. The part of our brain where this process takes place has one overriding purpose and that is to keep us alive. Once a thought or behaviour is 'banked' in our subconscious this is 'the manual' we run our lives by and a departure from an established pattern is firmly resisted, change might be dangerous. Our subconscious becomes our personal 'jobsworth' security officer' with the power to prevent us engaging in a thought or action which it understands may be harmful to us.
This would be fine if these behaviours were always the ones we currently want but unfortunately we absorb some very odd ideas along the way and these start being laid down from the moment of conception to about five years old. To begin life we have no logic or reason of our own because that part of our brain simply hasn't developed yet. We just cannot evaluate things for ourselves for the first few years but we do form patterns of thought and behaviour. Then, later, we get all sorts of input, from our parents, or siblings, our friends, carers, the media, or our teachers, much of it prejudiced, misguided or just plain wrong. These influences become our values and beliefs.
So that is why we find it difficult to change; our intended actions conflict with our reactive programming. They are at odds with our values and beliefs which are laid down, often in error, to protect us. When there is a conflict between our 'conscious' brain and our 'subconscious' the subconscious always wins because it believes - sometimes wrongly - that it is acting to keep us safe and is programmed to be able to insist on that safety
So can we change? yes! but not easily, we usually need help. The nature and extent of that help can depend on our ability to ‘rewrite the manual' and that can depend on not only understanding how that might achieved (Training and Personal Development perhaps) but how stressed we are at the time.
Stress takes away our ability to use our logic and reason. At times when it is really important to make a change some professional help from therapists (Life Coaches, NLP Practitioners and Hypnotherapists) can be the 'short cut' which enables change to be achieved quickly and easily. So if you need to make a rapid change but are currently stressed, drop me an e-mail and arrange for a free initial consultation in my consulting room or by telephone : tony@thelifedesignstudio.co.uk
Have fun changing!
Tony
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A number of tips and hints can be found in other articles on this blog and at www.50pluslifedesign.com
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