I received a newsletter recently from Dave Crisp who is a fellow Life Coach. Here are his "7 steps to increase your Confidence" which you could practice at home.
"Would you like to improve your confidence? Would you be interested in a technique that can help get rid of the fear of speaking when you have to give a talk, or that boosts your confidence for sports or other high performance needs? Could there be a time in the future, that you would like to be more assured than you have been in the past?
Here is a technique that teaches you how to plan for the future using all the best of your past or the past of someone you know. Research has shown that the subconscious cannot tell the difference between real practice and imagined practice; they both prepare you for an upcoming event for which you want to be at your best. This exercise will show you how to access your best state any time you need it.
This methods of summoning up your confidence on demand is a mental technique called the ‘Circle of Excellence.’ Note that this doesn't create competence in a skill you desire, but it gives you the ability to summon up the confidence necessary for performing that skill.
Here are the steps for using the Circle of Excellence, which you need to practise ahead of time in order to be able to draw upon it at will:
Step 1. Imagine a circle on the floor. In your imagination, make it about 3 feet in diameter and 2 feet in front of you, something large enough to step into. Sometimes making it golden and sparkly can help, or you can use chalk to draw a circle on the floor if you need help with visualising when you are first training to master this mental technique.
Step 2. Step inside the circle and imagine a time you were wonderful at something, not necessarily what you want to be confident doing. Imagine that everything went smoothly, you were bright, funny, happy, confident, full of energy and a great success at your task. You were balanced, creative, powerful or as many other positive states of your choice that you can conjure. You want all your positive memories to flood your body with the good feelings of your confident performance.
If you don't have these particular resources from your own personal history, it works to pretend you have them and in your mind, you can use visualisation too, for example step-into-the-shoes-of or role play, a movie hero, a living legend, or anyone you admire to get into that state you want.
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between a REAL history and an IMAGINED history or the history of others in creating a state, so all you have to do is emotionally capture that feeling of excellence using whatever role models or scenario playing that works for you.
Step 3. Develop a full visual and auditory representation of the state. This means use your imagination to see and hear the kinds of things you were seeing and hearing. Use all your senses to develop the kinaesthetic sense and so strengthen the FEELING of what it's like to be in that state. Notice yourself in the circle being wonderful... Visualise it fully. Hear what is going on around you and hear yourself responding appropriately. Feel yourself gushing with pride. Feel your greatness and calmness.
Step 4. When you have added enough detail and resources, step out of the circle. Visualise a representation of yourself still in the circle and notice the posture, demeanour and breathing involved with the state you have created. Shake off the state to return to your normal state and prepare to test it out.
Step 5. Imagine your circle again and step back into it. At the same time you step automatically into the powerful state you've created. Move into that circle of excellence, stepping into the picture of yourself. Imagine it's as if you step into that person, that set of states, the whole of that experience.
Step 6. The imaginary circle can act as the Anchor. However, you may want an alternative trigger for this as a resource state so that you can bring it up at any time you require it. In other words, figure out how to draw upon this state at will by practising it and then associating some mental or physical link or cue with it to bring it back when needed. That might be tapping your fingers, holding your arms in a certain way or whatever physical link you can easily and accurately repeat.
Step 7. Repeat 1 - 6 with more experiences to enhance the power of the Circle of Excellence.
If you come under stress in the future, you can then trigger the physical link and the feelings of that experience or experiences will return as you are back in your Circle of Excellence.
NOTE: This technique does not create competence. It assumes ability is in place. When ability is not enough and a dose of confidence is required, this exercise works a small miracle. Please be aware of the important difference between confidence and competence!
It’s much easier to have the aid of someone else to help you access states and anchor them appropriately. A coach can aid your goal of becoming more confident in many ways."
To find out more e-mail DaveCrisp@ccandc.co.uk
Have fun with this exercise. The more you can make your personal growth fun, the easier it will be.
Best wishes
Bee
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